Parents who think they know best

Most of the time when our parents dictate what we should do and what’s best for us as their children, they are actually correct about 80% of the time except when it comes to a few things:

– What course we should take in college? The three main professions of doctor,lawyer and engineer is not necessarily better for teenagers if they don’t even like the subject. Most of them have to re-take courses and some graduate and never ever touch the major they studied ever again

– Migrating for the benefit of the children

This one is the main reason I have decided to write this post. Many parents in Malaysia are starting to yank their children away from their schools to migrate while they are halfway into the programme. The purpose for migration is for a better education and safety, both very legit reasons.

However, what these parents don’t understand is that, the education might or might not be better, BUT some factors disregarded is:

1. Acculturation stress

Acculturate meaning to adapt to the host culture that a family is migrating to. Not simply adapt but, being able to socialize and adjust to it. For many, culture shock could arise. For instance, a friend’s family migrated to Washington, and her son who was 12, transitioning into middle school was shocked to see guns for the first time and to pass through a metal detector before entering the school. He was transferred three times in two different states before settling into a school. Taking someone out from their comfort zone and simply putting them, and forcing them to make friends is not ideal.

2. Social Support

Once again, this goes back to parents thinking education is better than a social life or having friends. Research has actually shown that having friends and support from school teachers reduced stress and psychological problems. However, how would an Asian teenager who is fresh off the boat in the U.S. fare especially if he/she is smaller size than their peers? Bullying might also be a problem.

3. Discrimination

Like it or not, your child/teenager may actually face discrimination which leads to a whole host of negative adjustment. Not taking note of these discrimination, and for some actually brushing it off is detrimental to the wellbeing of your child. One of the reasons my friend had to transfer her sons school is because of bullying, the fact he was discriminated.

Well, like it or not, social support is very important to a child/teenager and if he/she does not receive it, they may change not for the better but for worse due to negative adjustment.

So, please do think twice before you yank your teenager(especially) from a school he or she has grwon up in and throw him/her into a foreign school in a foreign country out of his/her own will.