Another article worthy of writing as I believe this problem arises in many relationships, and even in arguments with friends, family,etc.
When we are involved in an argument, many of us are mired in the cause of the argument, or to start playing the “blame game”. However, the question is “Are we actually solving the problem?” or just making it worse than it already is.
Recently, I myself was involved in an argument, and I kept dwelling on how to talk about “feelings”, and “the relationship” itself before my friend stop me short… He asked a simple question – are you a problemist or solutionist?
So, here I am deducing the fact that many of us are one more than the other but these are two characteristics you should be aware of:
Problemist:
– Just thinking of the problem ONLY
– Making the problem worse
– Thinking of ways and means that the argument was not YOUR fault
– Dwelling on the past which adds on to the existing argument
– Very emotionally involved
Solutionist:
– First thing you want to do- solve the problem
-Efficient in your thoughts and are very organized
– Seeing the problem through the perspective of a “bigger picture”
– Detach from being emotional
Many of us are actually problemist I believe because we always become way too emotional especially in relationships! To be consciously aware of what we are thinking and feeling is a great first step to being a solutionist when an argument arises or simply when facing a problem at work. Always question yourself “Am I really solving the problem?” by doing this.
This write-up is also a note to myself to be more conscious of my own feelings and thoughts when faced with an argument rather than be emotionally riled up!
Most importantly, cool down before you proceed in making decisions.. do stuff that you like which calms you like..
For me, it’s drinking some awesome milkshake from Johnny Rockets
Or eating!
Although we had an argument, we are still happy and able to solve it <3
Hope this helps guys:)
Yours truly,
Mei Sze