So, I usually don’t write posts related to business psychology in general, BUT I read a book that intrigued me and in a way made me want to share what I’ve read with you guys, the entrepreneurs, future entrepreneurs, CEO’s, Managers, and people who are climbing the career ladder in general. It doesn’t matter whether you are in the engineering field or even the entertainment field because this principle applies across the board.
Do you know the richest and most successful people are not selfish with helping others succeed in life? If you find this intriguing. Read on..
This is NOT a book review but an excerpt of the book which is beneficial to everyone.. The book is titled “Never Eat Alone” and focuses on building relationships and connections in life..
Chapter two called “Don’t Keep Score” really struck a chord in me citing about generosity and not keeping score on favours!!Generosity not in terms of money BUT in relationships, referrals was what Keith Ferrazi(the author) was talking about. One of the stories he shared went like this…. is something I want YOU guys to take note of..
While he was the CMO in Deloitte previously in the USA, he wanted to get into entertainment, so he tapped on someone who knew a lawyer in Hollywood. The lawyer was generous enough to share a contact with him, an agent named David. He arranged a lunch session with David and while talking halfway, Keith asked David whether he could share a contact or a way to get into the entertainment industry. What David said next shocked him:
David: “I do know somebody, he told Keith. “She’s a senior executive at Paramount”
Keith: “Great, I’d love to meet her, he said excitedly. “Is there any chance of arranging a quick introduction? Maybe you could pass on an e-mail?”
David: “I can’t”. Keith’s face fell.. David continued..” Keith, here’s the situation. It’s likely that at some point I’m going to need something from this person or want to ask a personal favor. And I’m just not interested in using the equity that I have with this individual on you, or anyone else, for that matter. I need to save that for myself. I’m sorry. I hope you understand”.
The point was David saw relationships as finite, meaning if it was a pie and if you took a slice, there’s only a few pieces left. However, Keith explained that relationships are like muscles.. the more you work on it, the more you can build it to become stronger which I totally agree with!
I have met many people in the industry of media and entertainment, both fields I am involved in, one for Personedge, and one as a host, and there are so many around that do not care to help you become successful, or even spend the time to help you. What people don’t understand is that in business and the world, it’s a cycle and a symbiotic relationship… if you help another, and the person feels thankful, they might just help you back or refer you to someone who can…
Was at the August Men of the Year 2014 event last night, and what Kit, my close friend did touched me.. he introduced me to everyone he knew and vice versa.. but his generosity in sharing is something I hardly see in others..
Building and sharing relationships is the new way of doing business
For me, when someone calls me to host/emcee an event and I can’t make it, I always refer it to my friend or a budding talent, OR when someone asks me for advice, I strive to truly help that person because I know how it feels like when you are floundering. When I first started out, I tried asking people for advice, but no one wanted to share information on how to start hosting,etc. and just gave me very floaty answers like “Just send your profiles out”.
The big question was “To who?” and if you simply send your profile without referral, they will probably just delete it anyway. When people ask how I started, I actually take the time to share “How?” (sorry if I bored you guys when I go into detail), because that provides people insight on how they can too…
Even with PersonEdge and futher work with emceeing, video shoot, hosting, it’s all based on referrals, and people who believed in me and truly want to help me!
Bottomline, don’t be stingy with referrals, building relationships, and sharing information. It doesn’t hurt because the you can see relationships as more than just a favour:)
We don’t live in the past anymore where resources are scarce, we live in an age where relationships are pertinent according to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs… so shed the old way of thinking and embrace the new.
For me, I view relationships as genuine, and if I want to spend time with you.. you are definitely someone I want to get to know!
Love,
Mei Sze
Credits: Pictures taken with Olympus EPL7
