One year later after having Cancer

I can never in my life of mine especially at this age imagine that I would be writing this or even have a title of a post that would say this on my blog.

Recently, I was brought back to the reality that hit me a year ago on the same month and as I am writing this, it’s actually the first day of checking in for surgery.

After cancer, I vowed to myself that I would change my life no matter what it takes because my doctor was telling me since I DO NOT have genetic history of colon, ovarian or breast cancer, there could be a possibility it’s stressed induced as I got it at such a young age!

But, you know what? Without consciously realizing it, I started going back into being busy, stressing out mostly about work and research. Although my body can only take so much, I continue to push myself like before although I’ve changed in terms of the food I eat such as supplements, juices,etc. BUT that’s not enough because not only was my cancer caused by stress, and a constant flight or fight syndrome in my body, I can actually feel that same feeling again the past few months such as a faster heart rate, anxiety when things are not finished, and less time to do things I really want to do.

Then a friend knocked some sense into me during a recent hens trip :

11 girls went to Bali for a close friend of ours – Christina

The bide-to-be and now officially Darren’s wife

I met these three pretty ladies at the most unconventional place and we not only kept in touch but are still close till now

It was THIS lady unexpectedly that woke me up from my dream

Yup, peace!!! This whole time I kept telling myself that I am “normal”, I just have 12 cm less of a colon and 2/3 short of a rectum which may cause me stomach discomforts BUT other than that, I am fine. My thought process was I can still work, wear anything I want, go for massages and travel which makes me “back to normal” except for the hospital checks and colonoscopy which then brings me back to reality for once in 3 months and I am fine with that. Plus, I want to do what all my peers are doing!

And that’s when I guess my mind did not accept the fact I had cancer before… This was what my friend asked me..

Claud: You know you have been given a second chance at life, do you still want to screw it up? Why can’t you take care of yourself better? (Because I got diarrhea in Bali due to unhygienic water I drank from the watermelon juice)

Me: I just want to do what everyone else is doing

Claud: But you are now in denial, and I can see you are back to before you had cancer doing so many things

Me: Yes, I still have to earn for myself no?

Claud: If you ever get it back(knock on wood), you are going to ask yourself, what would you have change so you don’t get it a second time around? (This question completely knocked me off guard)

Me:………………………………………..

After much thinking, she was right and it’s my ONE YEAR anniversary of being cancer free! It’s a truly joyous occasion and I do want to make a true CHANGE in my life as below(I am writing this so you guys can keep me in check)

– Stop doing things that make me unhappy and that would lead to more stress

– Prioritize what is important to me… clearly HEALTH is number one

– FOCUS on things that make me happy spiritually, intellectually, and is beneficial for others

– Keep a better food diary, note down what makes me go to the toilet more often

– Do what makes my inner child happy. Travel more to beaches, reconnect with besties from the States which I haven’t seen in awhile!!!!!!

– Continue to create colon cancer and wellness awareness

Jennifer and I

Jennifer Huang, a 23 year old colon cancer patient from Indonesia who didn’t do anything for 7 months with cancer because her doctor in a hospital in Melaka frightened her that she had to remove her entire rectum and said her cancer has spread without even doing the surgery yet.

Her sister contacted me first and I did not hear any reply from her after I answered all her questions. After that, Jennifer contacted me herself and now, she’s finally undergoing treatment with my oncologist and surgeon! Keep staying strong Jennifer!

Yes, coming one year cancer free is a feat already and all of you can hold testimonial to my change… and you will definitely be updated on it in my lil space here..

It is now “Cancer free for ONE YEAR and COUNTING” and definitely more years to come:)

Love,

Mei Sze